Dave this is truly a gem of a reflection. I feel the constant tug of war you describe, not in terms of corporate vs. self-employed, which seems to be how many people here experience it, but in terms of being a different kind of parent. In the past years, we’ve hosted several exchange students, travelled to various countries and made lots of work sacrifices so we can have vital experiences with our kids. People find it strange and I doubt myself often but I do know that being different is a part of growing into the next version of myself.
Thanks Emily, for me it’s about work at the moment but the underlying principle applies to any situation where you feel the old safe path is no longer serving you and you start venturing down a new path. I don’t have kids but I’ve heard there is immense parental social pressure to conform in how you raise your kids, what you expose them to, what they should wear to school, how quickly they’re making progress in development starting from talking and walking all the way through what college they go to. On and on.
Life is full of these conformity games so I’m glad you are venturing out of the parental norm with travel and bringing the world to your kids. They will be richer for it, and have a broader view on other people and appreciation for different cultures and beliefs, which is greatly needed right now.
Good for you, keep being brave and set your own course!
Another wonderful article, thanks for sharing Dave! My past life oozed societal success but it wasn't the real me. Despite my break for freedom and authenticity, I've continued to allow my circumstances and environment dictate what I should do. But finally, I'm finding the courage to be different! Great to know I'm not alone on this journey...
Hi Anna, thanks for reading, I empathize with your journey, my past life wasn’t entirely artificial but it also was not 100% me. Circumstances and environment are powerful forces that are hard to break free from. But we must in order to actualize or truest self. Sometimes it’s an abrupt and powerful breakaway, but other times I feel like a slug just trying to slither away to a new life!
I identify with your struggle. Being yourself is most radical act you can undertake
Personality is the supreme realization of the innate idiosyncrasy of a living being. It is an act of courage flung in the face of life, the absolute affirmation of all that constitutes the individual, the most successful adaptation to the universal conditions of existence, coupled with the greatest possible freedom of self-determination.
Hi Michael, thanks for that great passage, it is indeed a radical act of courage to become one’s true self, rejecting all the societal, parental, and peer pressures of others, and embarking on the long and often difficult journey to first find, second embrace, and third live out one’s true identity. It’s amazing how many masks, false personas, and invented traits we can manufacture to be accepted, liked, wanted, and loved.
Hi Jonathan, thanks for reading and glad this was a timely reminder for you, I hope it gives you the courage to move ahead with some of your new ideas. No harm in taking steps in that direction and see what emerges.
Well written and lived, Dave! 👏 The dialectic between security and authenticity is one we must struggle with throughout our lives. The "right way" will look different at every point along the path.
Thanks Baird, I feel like I face this topic in different forms at every change of life season. When I was younger I thought I would get to a place of “arrival” where things get resolved once and for all but I’ve come to accept that it’s more of a gradual maturing evolution over a long period of time.
Excellent, Dave! Caught a piece from you in my inbox after a long time, and the timing of this was... well... very timely. Thanks for sharing your journey of self-discovery and all the best with writing the chapters ahead of you.
Dave, your insightful essay reminds me of a quote that (1) rings true, and (2) scares the HELL out of me: "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
Dave this is truly a gem of a reflection. I feel the constant tug of war you describe, not in terms of corporate vs. self-employed, which seems to be how many people here experience it, but in terms of being a different kind of parent. In the past years, we’ve hosted several exchange students, travelled to various countries and made lots of work sacrifices so we can have vital experiences with our kids. People find it strange and I doubt myself often but I do know that being different is a part of growing into the next version of myself.
Thanks Emily, for me it’s about work at the moment but the underlying principle applies to any situation where you feel the old safe path is no longer serving you and you start venturing down a new path. I don’t have kids but I’ve heard there is immense parental social pressure to conform in how you raise your kids, what you expose them to, what they should wear to school, how quickly they’re making progress in development starting from talking and walking all the way through what college they go to. On and on.
Life is full of these conformity games so I’m glad you are venturing out of the parental norm with travel and bringing the world to your kids. They will be richer for it, and have a broader view on other people and appreciation for different cultures and beliefs, which is greatly needed right now.
Good for you, keep being brave and set your own course!
It’s not ‘different’ it is just authentic.
We can unrobot life, the machinery and smoke, any time.
Another wonderful article, thanks for sharing Dave! My past life oozed societal success but it wasn't the real me. Despite my break for freedom and authenticity, I've continued to allow my circumstances and environment dictate what I should do. But finally, I'm finding the courage to be different! Great to know I'm not alone on this journey...
Hi Anna, thanks for reading, I empathize with your journey, my past life wasn’t entirely artificial but it also was not 100% me. Circumstances and environment are powerful forces that are hard to break free from. But we must in order to actualize or truest self. Sometimes it’s an abrupt and powerful breakaway, but other times I feel like a slug just trying to slither away to a new life!
I identify with your struggle. Being yourself is most radical act you can undertake
Personality is the supreme realization of the innate idiosyncrasy of a living being. It is an act of courage flung in the face of life, the absolute affirmation of all that constitutes the individual, the most successful adaptation to the universal conditions of existence, coupled with the greatest possible freedom of self-determination.
C.G. Jung, "The Development of Personality," 1932
Hi Michael, thanks for that great passage, it is indeed a radical act of courage to become one’s true self, rejecting all the societal, parental, and peer pressures of others, and embarking on the long and often difficult journey to first find, second embrace, and third live out one’s true identity. It’s amazing how many masks, false personas, and invented traits we can manufacture to be accepted, liked, wanted, and loved.
Thank you for this timely reminder! I have been dancing between the safe route and the route my imagination and ambitions want me to go a lot lately.
Hi Jonathan, thanks for reading and glad this was a timely reminder for you, I hope it gives you the courage to move ahead with some of your new ideas. No harm in taking steps in that direction and see what emerges.
Well written and lived, Dave! 👏 The dialectic between security and authenticity is one we must struggle with throughout our lives. The "right way" will look different at every point along the path.
Thanks Baird, I feel like I face this topic in different forms at every change of life season. When I was younger I thought I would get to a place of “arrival” where things get resolved once and for all but I’ve come to accept that it’s more of a gradual maturing evolution over a long period of time.
This all really resonates with me. Thank you Dave.
Thanks Cate, glad if it was helpful, I’m curious - are you going through some kind of transition period right now?
Excellent, Dave! Caught a piece from you in my inbox after a long time, and the timing of this was... well... very timely. Thanks for sharing your journey of self-discovery and all the best with writing the chapters ahead of you.
Thanks Dev, sometimes the right thing arrives at the right time, glad this was helpful and timely!
Loving hearing about the path you’re on, Dave! Great and insightful writing, as always.
Thanks Dina I appreciate it, hope all is well with you!
I really enjoyed reading about your experience present and past Dave. TY for sharing this perspective. Keep it coming
Thanks Brie, glad to have met someone on a similar path, makes this life feel more do-able!
Dave, your insightful essay reminds me of a quote that (1) rings true, and (2) scares the HELL out of me: "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."